i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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