It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
