just come out here and I will go home with you...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
