yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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