weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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