you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
