Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
