I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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