Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
