btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
