PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
