sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
