Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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