But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
