my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
