After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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