Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
