Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
