it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I will be naked everywhere
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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