im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
