So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
