What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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