He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
