Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
