Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
