I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Randomize
