...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
This is the high leading the old right now
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
