i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
