I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
