are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
