I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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