my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
