Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you will always have a special place in my vag
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
