I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
