I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
