Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
