the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My vagina is very pro this idea
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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