dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
