woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want her autograph on my taint
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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