So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
