His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
