I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
