lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
