the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
