We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
