I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
