it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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