There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
