you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
His nipple licking is glorious
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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