Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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