Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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