oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
